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Getting sick of it all.......... Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2003 17:44 I don't have much time....I have to head to class. I just wanted to update a lil bit more. As far as Mike is concerned, I don't know. He's been lying and bullshitting with me, which the fact he thinks he should, could or had to do that pisses me off more then the actual lying. But what can I do? He thinks he's cute and got away with it, but he didn't. I'm just annoyed that he couldn't come out and tell me how he was feeling. I've been trying to sit down and talk with him for days now, but shit always comes up. He supposed to come over and stay with me tomorrow, and have an interview with my mom, but if he blows that off, then fuck it, I'm not even going to sit and talk with him about it. And he says he doesn't want to break up, but he sure isn't acting like someone who wants to be with someone else, ya know? Who knows? I'm all stressed out about it, and it's stupid. My main problem is that I want to trust him, which he is making it very difficult to do, if he lies and bullshits with me, and breaks promises. I know he's young and just may not know what its really like to be in a real relationship. Just like Evan didn't. Urgh. I see way too many characteristics of Evan and Chris in him. Which the Evan part is probably why I am so appealed to him....could this just mean I think I've found a replacement? That's wrong for me to do that to him if it's true, ya know? I hope its not. But I really need to sort of these feelings and if he breaks one more promise and ruins his chances for a job, then I gotta end it and I know he's not mature and responsible if he skips the second part........I don't want to think of him that way, because I think very highly of him. I think he is very mature for his age, responsible, loving and giving. But I don't know. I think the main thing is that things are moving way too fast, too fast for either of us, I think that's why there are issues between us. He thinks I'm trying to pressure him when I just need to know what the hell to expect...ya know? I mean that's a fair want, but I guess he didn't see it that way. Oh...my right nipple piercing is all fuckered up, and I have to get it redone, from talking to the guy on the phone, I have a feeling that he's going to try to charge me for something I think was their fault since they pierced it on the nipple and not right behind it, but anywho....I felt better about things after seeing him today, so that's good right? We'll see, but this decision will be made by tomorrow, with or without conversing with him about it. ~s Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future Link me! <a href="http://sailorschica.diaryland.com"><IMG SRC= "http://sailorschica.diaryland.com/images/sailorschica.gif"></a> xx xx