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now i'm bound by the life you left behind your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams your voice it chased away all the sanity in me



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Expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed.

Sunday, Jan. 17, 2010

02:53


I was so excited about Sunday, today offically now I guess. But what can I expect from a man that doesn't even buy me flowers or other crap, unless I remind him, and go with him? The most thoughtful thing regarding that is to remember to buy me Sprite when he buys himself coke.
I've set the day up so we don't have to do anything but to be with each other.
He is this incredibly sweet, sensitve, kind guy. But come on!!!!!! I've repeadily told him how to be romantic with me, flowers, cards, little notes, whatever. And he can't even do that. After a fucking year, he's bought me flowers once! Under my pressure and when I was there, he had to pick them out. And then one day, I bought him a card in Spanish, and he loved it. I told him, think about how you feel right now? I want to feel that way too. I constantly buy him lil crap that I know he needs, cause I pay attention. And yes, he is hardly without me, when he is not working, but still. He could make a stop, or an excuse or something. Even for Christmas I had nothing to open. I told him to stop by the fucking dollar store on his way to work and he didn't even do that. I had nothing. Sure he bought me a puppy at the beginning of the month. But I wanted something to show he was thinking of me, just some stupid little thing. Shit if he bought me a fucking 2 liter of SPRITE I would have smiled and been happy.
I've cleared the day tomorrow and he was already making plans to fucking go to the pharmacy to send money to his friend in MEXICO, I said hellllll no. We are doing nothing! Absoultely nothing, besides being with each other, which is why I did all the groacery shopping and other crap we normally do on his day off, today. So we wouldn't have to go out and do anything.
He even bought me a card, under my pressure of course, but he picked it out! At least he picked it out, but he really tried to hand it to me right after he paid for the it at the store, not even in the envelope, not even signed! And that was over a month ago. I refused to take it then, and he hasn't even given it to me yet, I bring it up every so often. But I still dont' have it. I purposely laid it on his dresseer today. Hoping in the morning when he wakes up and puts clothes on that he will see it, and at least give it to me. I am setting him up for sucess, but he keeps failing.
After a fucking year? I'm not that difficult to please, I'm really not. Even something as stupid as remembering my favorite gum or some shit would make me happy.
UGH.... I can't take this anymore. I don't think I can go another year without this little shit. And I have an appointment to get his name tattoo'd on me, yes I know stupid, but my tattoo artist and I are already planning ahead, in case it doesn't work out. The color shouldn't be black it should be a lighter color that is easy to cover up later.
And he's supposed to be getting mine on him as well. But I'm having problems finding a female tattoo artist. He's getting stars on his lower hips. And maybe my name in the middle. But.... he doesn't want a man down there. I'm getting mine, on my lower back.
But as of now, I already want to cancel. I know I'm being dramatic about him not trying to help me cum. . But then decided I needed to get my feelings out. And its so much faster and easier to edit when I'm typing.
URGH.
So I just started to think. If I expect nothing, then I can't be disappointed.
RIGHT?
Then maybe one day when he does finally buy me flowers or gives me that card, I'll be extremely happy, Right? If that day ever comes.


Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future

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What Did You Miss??

Andres1 - Monday, Jan. 25, 2010
Expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed. - Sunday, Jan. 17, 2010
How many chance's does God Give you? - Friday, Jan. 15, 2010
YOU KNOW I"M TALKING TO YOU. - Thursday, Nov. 05, 2009
- - Sunday, Nov. 01, 2009

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since May 5, 2003 12:08pm