now i'm bound by the life you left behind your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams your voice it chased away all the sanity in me Navigation � Current � Archives � WISHLIST � DiaryRings � Profile � Notes � Click me! � Guestbook Contact Me �Email me: StarrLena � YahooScreename: Ange1starr � Clothes: Hot Topic � Lip Service �Buried Alive �Reads: Gothic Beauty � Naked Goth Girls: Spooky Girls � Suicide Girls � Thanks To � Bitch&MoanDesigns � Hosted By Diaryland Extras Mood:Shitty Tunes: immoral Wearing:t shirt

Blowing off my Head Thursday, Jun. 19, 2003 14:29 I don't know........I'm falling tumbling into this deep deep darkness I've never seen before. It's getting hard to pretend that everything is ok. It's hard to get out of bed. It's hard to do anything. And my mind keeps trying to think of everything that I'm dwelling on. I force it all away so I don't have to think so I don't have to feel the pain. I wish I didn't have responsibities....cause to be honest....I'd probably be in the hospital right now. If I didn't have to take care of nicholas then I would be there......getting help....having someone help me from whacking off my head. Now I say that cuase I really really just wish I could rip my head off. NOt kill myself. Though that goes through my head sometimes. I just literally want to rip my head off so I'll stop thinking and going through all this crap......if I had no head i would be fine. It kinda makes me wonder when people shoot themselves in the head....are they really thinking sucide?? Or do they just want to make the thoughts go away? I'm going to end this........don't feel sorry for me. I'm not going to kill myself. I'm just extremely tired of every living thing. I'm tired of the motions. But i'm here.....I'll always be here. Sigh. Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future Link me! <a href="http://sailorschica.diaryland.com"><IMG SRC= "http://sailorschica.diaryland.com/images/sailorschica.gif"></a> xx xx