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*~Fuck U all~* Thursday, Jun. 05, 2003 23:09 Have I told you lately that I hate people??? I mean seriously. People in general just don't give a fuck about other people unless somehow they are benefiting for themselves. Which to be honest think to yourself...every relationship is like that. ...you like someone because they are a good listener or smart or funny or whatever. But you are friends with someone cause you can talk to them or they will be there for you. Anyways. I love how people think that they can just keep fucking you over and over and over and just keep coming back to you and everything would be ok. You know....maybe once or twice. They'll be like Oh I won't do it again and I'm sorry I'm sorry and all that bullshit but then they just start doing the same shit over and over and over. I have a few friends like this. We will go for days or weeks and not talk because they think I'm the one fucking up, when it's really them but they cant' take blame for their own actions. Then as usual they always come crawling back and saying sorry I won't do it again and whatever other bullshit. I've given into a few of these friends lately because in all honesty when they aren't being stupid and crazy then they are really good friends. But tonight.....I remembered the lil vow I made to myself. That I wasn't going to be dating anyone or friends with someone unless they benefited me. And to be honest....that leaves very few people. But the few online friends I have left taht I haven't met yet.....I dunno. I just like them. It's not even that they are easy to talk to or something that makes it better for me. Hell I just want to be their friend and be there for them! which is how it should be. Anyways......so I'm done. I'm done with everyone. Tonight it the final night. If you were my friend and fucked me over or hurt me or whatever then you have to earn your friendshup back withme. This may seem like me being a bitch but those friends know who they are and they know what they did was fucked up. So if they protest and don't care then they didn't need to be my friends to begin with. I'm going to be starting school and work and everything and with the lil ones around I don't need this shit. I'm focused on making myself a better person and providing for my family and becoming a greater person for my family. I don't need to worry about these idiots running around doing stupid shit or fucking something in my life up or being sad or depressed because of them what they did to me. Or what they are doing to themselves. I'm sorry. It's time for me in my life. It's time for me to care about me.....make things better for me! It's all about me me me.......for once. I can be a bitch and I can be selfish to you but I'm tired of taking care of everyone else. It's my turn to be happy and to suceed....so everyone that doesn't care about that....then kiss my ass and dont' ever contact me again cause I DON'T NEED YOU. That's another realization. I realized that I don't need anyone. All I need is myself. I don't need a boyfriend or family or friends. They help sometimes. But I don't need anyone but myself.....this is the first time in my life that I didn't feel the need to have a boyfriend- hell it's the first time in my life I have been single this long. And as far as friends....I know the good ones when i see them. And family....you don't need it....I dont' think I ever had it....maybe in body but not in mind or emotion.---ok I feel lots better...........*sigh* Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future Link me! <a href="http://sailorschica.diaryland.com"><IMG SRC= "http://sailorschica.diaryland.com/images/sailorschica.gif"></a> xx xx