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*~*Depression*~* Thursday, May. 22, 2003 12:42 I haven't wrote a real entry in a while. My attempts usually end up some where in the internet world because I accidently hit a link and pouf they are gone. Anyways. I can't explain this crap. I've never been depressed like this before. Before it used to make me happy to be around people and talk to them. But I've discovered that so many people in the world are assholes and don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves. And I'm not talking major things here. It's not like someone really betrayed me or anything. It's just like they want you to sit there and be sympathic towards what they are going through and then don't give a damn about you. Or.....you reject a guy and he starts calling you names. (typical) or someone gets upset over nothing or something that doesn't even mean how they took it. Even in my journal people can't leave me alone. I have people leaving me notes in my journal about me being a skank or being told to put on more clothes. Which if anyone knew me they would know that I where huge pants and tank tops that hardly show cleaveage. Only once was I at a party where a lot of clevage was shown. I would like to think of everyone there as being my friends. But perhaps they are not. I mean this is my journal. I am free to write what I want. Think what I want. But it doens't stop immature people from coming in a ridiculing me in some form. I know who left one of the messages. I have a way of tracing things. Anywyas. I've kinda fallen into this bout of depression. I just am tried of the world. Quite disappointed in how people act. I used to think quite highly of most people. Only to learn how fucked up they really are. I dunno why I am like this. I think it's because I finally realized what I deserve and if someone doesn't live up to those standards they piss me off and I tell em to fuck off. That's what I've concluded. I'm not nice to everyone anymore. I'm not accepting to everyone and I can say no to people now. I know how things are supposed to be and I know what I deserve and I'm not taking anything less. If I'm going to be friends with someone or date someone. They are going to treat me how I would treat them. I expect nothing less then what I would do for my friends. So in colclusion.....I got off the subject a lil. I hate everyone and they can all die and burn in hell :D ahhhh I'm so sweet. There is a few people that I don't think will disappoint me and they are the only ones that seem to know how to cheer me up. Brooke (big belly) Rob ( pineapple lover) and brad (ers) they've always been there and always can make me laugh and cheer me up. I love you guys. Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future Link me! <a href="http://sailorschica.diaryland.com"><IMG SRC= "http://sailorschica.diaryland.com/images/sailorschica.gif"></a> xx xx