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-scared Monday, Mar. 03, 2003 23:08 I've met this guy and for some reason, I am so scared. I'm scared that he likes me so much. I mean, I know that I am a very likable person and am an awesome, wonderful person. But it's like that fact that someone is interested in me for more than sex........and interested in me so much, so soon. It scares me. I want to push him away. I want to make him not like me in a way. But I would never do that. But now I have him thinking that I am not interested and that I am pushing him away because of some of the things I have said. I'm not sure what to say, what to think or even what to do. I would like to be in a long term relationship that's going to go somewhere. For someone to treat me the way that I want to be treated. But I am really scared of his feelings. I'm scared I'm going to be hurt and it's just going to be another waste of my time. I'm scared to put my all into another relationship. I mean I feel like I am just at the point of being single the rest of my life. I don't want to deal with all the time and effort and it just be one huge waste. I don't want to be hurt or hurt the other person somehow. I just feel like giving up. Staying single for the rest of my life and just having meaningless relationships. I think that is so fucked up though. I mean I want the kids and marriage and happily ever after. But in all honestly I don't think that I ever will. Either because I will never find him- or find him and he won't make the effort or I'll just give up and stay single and not even make the effort. So what do I say to this guy. Who makes love sound so appealing. That makes a relationship sound good? Sure, let's do it. But I can't just say that. I have too many mixed emotions and feelings and hardly know the guy. I don't want to lead him on, but I don't want to tell him no either. Hmmm that kinda sounds bad. I don't want to lead him on saying that yes I want to be with him when I am not really sure. LOVE SUCKS Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future Link me! <a href="http://sailorschica.diaryland.com"><IMG SRC= "http://sailorschica.diaryland.com/images/sailorschica.gif"></a> xx xx