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Andres Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009 11:40 I feel so frustrated with Andres. And I don't know if its about language barrier, because before that always seemed to make us try harder. But I'm starting to get pissed and frustrated after over a year of being together. It's been one thing after another. And it seems that we always tried to work it out, but I don't know if I'm giving up or if he is. I'm frustrated he's not committed to learning English. Maybe its the girl in me, but I feel that reflects on me, cause I feel its not important to him for us to be able to understand each other better. Then I keep repeatily telling him things I need or want for him to do, like cards, letters, flowers, which he says he can't do becasue he's not romantic, but I feel like he could try! He keeps saying he will, but after a year? He hasn't done anything. And he used to be up my ass all the time, follow me around. Maybe I pushed him away, maybe its my fault. But what's changed, the biggest thing that changed, is we got an apartment together, though we lived together for the past year. Now its me, his brother, and me, alone and responsible for the bills. But then another thing that changed was his work hours, and then his brother works with him now. So, there's no more time alone with each other before and after he gets off work, the only day I get alone with him is his day off which that day, we haven't even been going out or spending time together. I mean yeah we're in the house, but he wants to sleep or watch tv, and then doesn't pay attention to me. I'm an attention whore. I need attention. I've told him over and over I need more attention. And last night just got to me..... I don't even want to explain it, but we were outside together, making out in the van, then we freaked out cause we thought someone was watching, and so we went inside, and from there, he just sat and talked with his brother and watched tv. I actually went to bed first for once, and he came in later. I don't like sharing, and I feel I have to compete with his brother more then anything for his attention. I just want time alone with him. I just want his brother the fuck out of here. I don't like his brother, and I haven't for some time. He doesn't do anything for me. He doesn't help me or help around the house. Shit, Andres or me has to cook him dinner. Andres feels responsible for him cause its his little brother and they never had much growing up. I understand that. But he practically does everything for him except wipe his ass. Everytime I feel like things are going right, and then there not. I mean really after a year, I feel so frustrated with him, I just want to break up, but now we're in a damn apartment together, and I don't want to be responsible for all the rent and bills. Though I prolly could find other people to move in. I feel like things would be great with just us. But then I feel like he wouldn't like it because he wouldn't be around his brother or people to speak FLUENT Spanish with. His brother is supposed to go back to Mexico in a month, but now might be two months. I don't know. I told him if we have a family. I want to live alone. When we're married, I want to live alone with him. I don't want all these boarders, but I would prolly change my mind, and let someone live with us, because I always have before. SIGHGHHHHHH Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future Link me! <a href="http://sailorschica.diaryland.com"><IMG SRC= "http://sailorschica.diaryland.com/images/sailorschica.gif"></a> xx xx