now i'm bound by the life you left behind your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams your voice it chased away all the sanity in me Navigation � Current � Archives � WISHLIST � DiaryRings � Profile � Notes � Click me! � Guestbook Contact Me �Email me: StarrLena � YahooScreename: Ange1starr � Clothes: Hot Topic � Lip Service �Buried Alive �Reads: Gothic Beauty � Naked Goth Girls: Spooky Girls � Suicide Girls � Thanks To � Bitch&MoanDesigns � Hosted By Diaryland Extras Mood: Tunes: Wearing:

I hate everything. Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2004 02:29 I'm tired. I can honestly say that living in fear of your life.....that someone else has control over you and your actions....is a horrible way to live.....I honestly fear my life....I can't go back to my apartment because I know...I can feel it....she will kill me....that bitch is psycho..........KNowing both me and Nicholas were harmed and we were innocent just shows me how fucked up this world is......it's and sad sick world....people are always getting hurt and GOD DAMN IT....we don't deserve this. Something in me just snapped when I saw the bruises on Nico....And....now... I hate the world.....and everyone. I've been fighting for happiness for so long....and I am defeated. I give up......I will never have it....but I will continue to go on inside this dead body.....to make sure things are better for my son....and my daughter.....they are truly two of the beautiful things left in the world......and I intend to keep them that way. As much as death would be nice...I have to make sure that all the fucked up ness that I've been through doesn't happen to them. I don't know why things have gotten so bad....I used to think I didn't deserve it....but I'm beginning to think different. I must keep this dull fake opinion in my head of my I deserve.....what I should have......because no matter how hard, how good things are.....something bad always has to happen. And once there is one shread of hope.....I get knocked down again. I can't pick myself up anymore. I have no hope. No belief anymore that things will get better......I am destined to live in this hell.......... Oh to be dead...... To be dead would be so wonderful..... Forget the Past ~*~ Hope for the Future Link me! <a href="http://sailorschica.diaryland.com"><IMG SRC= "http://sailorschica.diaryland.com/images/sailorschica.gif"></a> xx xx